Peter Afrasiabi urges Americans to disagree without destroying relationships

With midterm voting approaching, attorney and persuasion expert Peter Afrasiabi is pressing Americans to argue harder on issues without turning personal. His advice centers on credibility, empathy and common ground as political tensions spill into homes, workplaces and online.

Why it matters: - Political disagreement is showing up in everyday life, from family dinners to community conversations to social media. - Afrasiabi argues that Americans can defend their beliefs without treating opponents as enemies. - The approach matters because damaged relationships can outlast any single debate or election.

What happened: - Peter Afrasiabi, an attorney and persuasion expert based in Newport Beach, California, laid out a framework for disagreeing without losing respect for the other side. - Afrasiabi tied the message to the upcoming midterm elections, when political divisions are likely to intensify. - Afrasiabi also pointed to his book, Profiles in Persuasion: How to Stand Up, Stay Credible, and Win People Over in a Deeply Divided World.

The details: - Afrasiabi said people can disagree passionately while still recognizing the humanity of the person across from them. - Afrasiabi’s book draws on five true stories to examine how credibility, sound reasoning, emotional connection and respect help change minds. - Afrasiabi said persuasion is different from simply defeating an opponent. - Afrasiabi warned that anger and contempt can damage relationships even when one side wins the argument. - Afrasiabi said Americans should not set aside their principles or pretend every position is equally supported by facts. - He offered seven tactics for more constructive political conversations: - Accept that reasonable people can disagree. - Try to understand the other person before trying to persuade them. - Challenge the argument, not the person’s character. - Avoid overstating the case or stretching the evidence. - Look for genuine common ground. - Choose words that leave the door open. - Accept that not every conversation ends in agreement. - Afrasiabi said understanding another person’s perspective does not require adopting it. - Afrasiabi said personal attacks weaken persuasion by shifting attention away from the issue. - Afrasiabi said credibility suffers when people exaggerate or make claims they cannot support. - Afrasiabi said common ground can exist even when people disagree sharply on policy. - Afrasiabi said common ground should be authentic, not a tactic for pretending differences do not exist. - Afrasiabi said harsh words can linger and make future conversations harder, especially online. - Afrasiabi said a successful conversation may end with better understanding rather than agreement.

Between the lines: - The advice reflects a view that persuasion works best when people protect the relationship as well as the argument. - Afrasiabi’s framing suggests political civility is less about being soft on beliefs and more about keeping conversation possible after disagreement. - The message also reflects a broader warning: online rhetoric can harden division because posts and insults can remain visible long after the moment passes.

What's next: - Afrasiabi said no single election will resolve America’s divisions. - He said civility will improve gradually through repeated choices in how people speak to one another. - Afrasiabi’s book is available from Amazon. - More information is available in the company’s announcement and book listing: the book on Amazon